


The Golden Egg

by flyingorfalling



Series: Where The Green Grass Grows [5]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Big Brother Peter Parker, Easter Egg Hunt, F/M, Fluff, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 07:08:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18566419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingorfalling/pseuds/flyingorfalling
Summary: Morgan teams up with Peter and Harley during the annual egg hunt on her parent's farm.





	The Golden Egg

**Author's Note:**

> It kinda misses the usual flow, and I had a difficult time writing the boys, but I hope you like it anyway. I have a feeling this series of fluffy nonsense will be my favorite thing to write after Endgame fucked me up.

Egg hunts were for children. Adults would watch in amusement, and encourage their offspring in their searches, but the children were the ones that did the actual hunting. However, that was not how it was done in the Stark-Potts household. Today was the annual egg hunt on Stark farm—the day that everyone ran around looking for eggs; eggs which were hidden by the famous Easter Bunny.

Morgan didn’t know much about the Easter Bunny, or why a bunny would want to hide chocolate eggs around the world once a year, but she loved having so many friends over to play with: Rhodey, Natasha, Bruce, May and Steve, and a few people she didn’t know that well—Scott, Clint and Carol—and then, of course, there were her big brothers, Peter and Harley. The only one she missed was Uncle Happy. He was never on time for the egg hunt.

Because there was such a large area of farmland to cover where eggs could be hidden, the whole group was divided into teams of two. Morgan was in a team with both Peter and Harley while her parents formed their own team. Morgan didn’t understand why. Because all they did every year was fighting on where to look first and where to go next. Her mother always won the argument, but the time her parents spent arguing was probably be better used searching for eggs. She had thought about telling them that, but then they might actually find the most eggs and win, and she really, _really_ hated losing.

Morgan stood at the end of the row of people, all lined up at the starting line of the egg hunt. She held her empty basket with anticipation as she waited for Dum-E to give the start signal. She turned to Peter, who was standing right next to her. “Follow me,” she demanded in her little voice, making him and Harley laugh.

Peter patted her tiny head and looked down at Morgan with a warm smile. “You’re the boss, Momo.”

“We’ll be right behind you,” Harley said. “Following your orders.”

“You can stay right here, kids,” Tony told them, “because the missus and I are unstoppable.

“You think you’re gonna win?” Peter scoffed at him, and Tony answered with a wide grin, exposing his teeth.

“You can’t even decide where to start looking,” Rhodey butted in.

“Of course we can,” Tony said, a little offended, and turned to his friend, who was teaming up with Scott. “The stables.”

“No,” Pepper retorted. “I thought we agreed to search by the lake first. There are way too many hiding places at the stabl—“

“Honey, I know you said the eggs by the lake are the easiest to find...” Tony gently put a hand on Pepper’s shoulder in an attempt to soothe her, “But I told you that’s why we should leave them to the kids.”

“You think we’re not good enough to find a well-hidden egg?” Harley intervened now, raising an eyebrow at him. Peter did the same, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Guys, can we just get on with this?” Natasha said, laughing. “Morgan’s already, like, a mile ahead.”

“What?” Tony gazed off into the distance and saw his daughter sprinting toward the back of the field near the woods. He looked over at Dum-E whose robotic arm moved as if he was shrugging a shoulder, telling him it wasn’t his fault Tony had missed the start signal.

Startled, Pepper jumped as Tony’s voice rumbled loudly near her left ear, telling her to quickly follow him to the stables. With an eye roll and an exaggerated sigh, she relented. “One day, I’m gonna kill him,” she mumbled and ran after him.

“C’mon, Pete!” Harley shouted, and raced across the field to catch up with Morgan.

In close proximity to the cattle range, were a number of sheds and outbuildings adjacent that housed farm equipment and tools. Morgan was inside one, hunting for eggs. Peter searched another shed while Harley went into the garage where Tony kept the agricultural vehicles. All across the floor were dozens of pieces of what had been the lawn tractor, including a vast assortment of engine parts, pistons, valves, axles, springs, and a lot of other similar stuff. Harley grinned. Tony Stark may be a farmer now, but he would never stop being a mechanic. Tripping over hundreds of bolts and washers, he rummaged through the place until he heard Peter yell.

“Over here!”

Morgan had already collected four eggs, but was more than happy to see Harley put another one in her basket. Jumping with excitement, the content almost fell out.

Harley chuckled, stroking the girl’s head. “Be careful with the eggs,” he said, and then looked at Peter who was near the entrance gate to the lush green pasture, pointing at the golden Easter egg inside the fenced area. “Dude,” he cooed, excitedly. “If we get that one, we score four points!”

“Yes!” Morgan squealed, jumping up and down again—that’s when Harley decided to take the basket and carry it for her. He took her by the hand and walked with her over to Peter.

“We need to get it before anyone else can.”

“Yeah, you know why it’s in there?” Peter said, “Because of The Hulk.”

“The Hulk?”

“You’ve never met The Hulk?”

When Morgan started to giggle, Harley looked at her confused. “What did I miss?”

“The Hulk is our bull,” Morgan told him.

“He’s not just any bull, though,” Peter noted. “That dude is the size of a tank. His horns span about six feet, and he’s a lot faster than you might think.”

“What kind of a cattle is he?”

“Scottish Highland. Tony says he just wants to play, but he came at me once and I’m telling you, he’s got a touch of a temper that you don’t wanna mess with.”

“I’ll get the egg,” Morgan said, and let go of Harley’s hand.

“No, you won’t.” Peter held her back by the arm.

“But Hulky loves me,” Morgan protested.

“And I love you more,” Peter argued, “which is why I can’t let you go in there. I don’t know what to do if something goes wrong.”

“I want the egg!” Morgan stomped her foot. As far as a four-year old went, it was a declaration of war.

“Listen to me, Little Miss Trouble,” Peter spoke softly, trying smooth ruffled feelings. He kneeled down and looked her in the eye. “I have a responsibility for you, and going in there is dangerous. We’re going to get the egg, but you won’t be the one collecting it. Harley will.”

“I will?” Harley’s eyes widened in shock. “From what you just told me _none_ of us should step foot in that bull’s territory.”

“Don’t be such a coward!” Peter got back on his feet and grinned at him.

“Why don’t _you_ go in there? You know that dude. You know what to expect. I don’t!”

“Harley, please... I have a trauma.” Peter laughed at his own words, as he patted his friend’s shoulder. “I mean, you don’t want me to have, like, a panic attack while I’m stuck in there with that bull, do ya, bud?”

Harley sighed deeply. “All right, I’m going. But you owe me, brother.”

“Sure thing,” Peter said, smirking.

Harley turned to open the gate, but instantly froze, as he looked across the field. “Oh shit!” he gasped.

Peter’s eyes followed Harley’s gaze, and he stared in shock as the lively toddler darted toward the location of the egg.

“We gotta do something!” Harley almost screamed. “You’re Spider-Man. Do something!”

“I don’t have my suit,” Peter said, his voice shaky and unsettled.

“Fuck this!” Harley hissed, putting down the basket and tearing open the gate.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna fight the damn dragon and save the princess.”

Peter watched as Harley sprinted toward Morgan. He knew he should follow them, but someone had to stay behind. Because if anything bad was going to happen, he had to get help. That stupid and adorable little girl was so impulsive and lacking in self-protection. She was just like her father—a firecracker that could go off at any moment. She could barely be left alone. She had to be watched at all times. Sometimes, it was exhausting to be exposed to these endless amounts of Stark energy—was that how Pepper felt with Tony every single day? But there was nothing Peter wanted to change about the girl that he loved like a sister. Absolutely nothing.

“I got it!” Morgan screamed, holding the giant egg in her hands. Jumping up and down, she waved her arms, “Look! Look!” Behind her, Harley could see the massive, heavy-maned bull approaching.

“Oh God, Tony’s so going to kill us,” he mumbled, speeding up. There was no doubt that The Hulk wanted to smash something—it better not be Stark’s little girl. “Come here, Morgan!” Harley yelled. “Quick!”

Morgan ran towards him, giggling like crazy, completely unaware of the imminent threat lurking behind her. The bull grunted and made a deep-throated sound, which carried for more than a mile. The moment she was in reach, Harley scooped her up in his arms and ran quickly into the other direction. Morgan, facing the other way now, saw The Hulk closing in on them. The bull’s tongue hung out, and a stream of foam was dripping to the ground. Morgan stuck her own tongue out at the animal to tease it, bouncing up and down on Harley’s shoulder as they moved to get away. She giggled so hard she began to hiccup.

“Hurry!” Peter shouted at them from afar, “He’s right behind you.”

The little girl laughed tears like she never saw anything funnier. Harley was dripping with sweat, red in the face, and puffing and panting, as if he was about to expire. He didn’t dare to turn his head and look the beast in the eye, but he could hear the animal roar. He tried to run as fast as he could, with the toddler hauled over his shoulder like a sack of flour. The more she laughed and wriggled in his grasp, the tighter he held her, hoping she would never let that egg slip through her fingers—this couldn’t all be for nothing.

They reached Peter not a moment too soon. He shut the gate quickly behind them. The Hulk came to a halt right at the fence and looked at them as if to say next time I’ll get you. Harley landed on his back as he breathlessly collapsed on the ground with Morgan on top of him. She rolled off of him and held on to her tummy as she threw back her head and allowed all her ripe energy to ripple away in laughter.

Peter watched her. He was relieved to have Morgan back in one piece, but he couldn’t stop grinning about what had happened. He wouldn’t let Pepper and Tony know about it, because he wasn’t sure how they’d react, but it was definitely a funny story to tell. He glanced at the bull that was grazing peacefully as though his hoofs hadn’t pounded the earth just a minute ago. The animal half-raised its head and stared at the boy, but it didn’t look the least bit scary anymore. Peter wanted to make a comment about how the bull had turned back into Bruce Banner, but with Morgan around, it was better to keep that to himself.

Harley groaned, and Peter looked at him with a smirk on his face, as he helped Morgan up. “I told you, he’s got a temper,” he joked.

Harley, still trying to gather his breath, panted. “Shut up, Pete!”

“Look, I have the egg,” Morgan said proudly, showing it to Peter.

“And we both almost died!” Harley grunted, a little mad, but as he opened his eyes, he noticed the sad expression on her face.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, lowering her head.

Harley sat up, staring at Morgan intently. “I know Hulky is your friend, but he’s still a wild animal, and you should not come anywhere near him, unless you are with an adult.”

“But you and Petey—“

“We’re not... real adults,” Peter said, “We’re still young, and we just can’t protect you like your mommy or daddy can. You understand?”

Morgan nodded.

“But we love you,” Harley assured her, “We’re your big brothers, and that means we will always try to protect you the best way we can. Like we did just now.”

“Really?” she asked shyly.

Harley smiled tenderly at her and moved to embrace Morgan in a hug. Giving her a soft kiss on the head, he mumbled into her hair, “I promise you, squirt!”

Peter picked the giant egg up from the ground, which the toddler had dropped, hugging Harley, and put it with the other eggs in the basket. “Where do you think we should go next, munchkin?”

Morgan looked at Peter, frowning as she thought about his question.

“Your parents are probably still at the stables, and my guess is the others are hunting inside the house or by the lake,” Harley figured. “Is there anywhere else where we can look? Like, a secret place on the farm?”

“The silo!” Morgan answered.

“After what just happened with The Hulk, we’re not going to climb into a silo and drown in the wheat,” Peter said, chuckling.

“Fruit garden!” Morgan called out.

“You mean your mom’s vegetable patch?” Harley locked eyes with Peter. “Not such a bad idea.”

Peter lifted Morgan up to carry her while Harley took the basket with all the eggs. The small girl rested her chin on Peter’s shoulder and waved at The Hulk as they left, telling him goodbye. Peter laid his hand on her back, rubbing it as they hurried to their destination. He smiled as she snuggled against him, her tiny arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He loved her so much. He didn’t know what he would do if anything ever happened to her.

“You know what we call the Easter bunny?” he asked her. “Me, Harley, your dad and your mom... All of us here?”

“No,” she said softly.

“Hoppy.”

Morgan giggled. “It‘s like happy.”

“Yes, it sounds like happy. That’s right.” Peter smirked at Harley, who was trying hard not to laugh.

“I miss Uncle Happy,” Morgan whispered, sighing. “Where is he?”

“Let me tell you something else about the Easter bunny,” Peter said, trying to cheer her up. “Today is the most stressful day of the year for Hoppy. He has to paint billions of eggs over the course of a few days, and he also has to make sure that all the eggs end up where they are supposed to.”

“And through rain, wind or snow, he always checks that every single egg find its destination into the hands of a child,” Harley continued. “Every year, after herding the eggs, Hoppy makes a trip around the world as the egg hunts start to see if everything runs smoothly.”

“And when it’s bad?”

“If something bad happens, he can step in and save the day,” Peter said. “So you don’t ever have to worry about not getting any eggs, because Hoppy’s always making sure that you do. He’s here for you.”

“He is here?” she asked excitedly, as she pulled back to let her gaze wander from one boy to the other. “Hoppy is on our farm?”

“Um... I... He’s...” Peter gave Harley a look, asking for help.

“I don’t know,” Harley said. “I mean, there are no guarantees, but maybe he’s really here right now.”

“He is!” Morgan screamed. It was so loud that Peter felt her voice ringing in his ear. “Hoppy is here!”

The boys stared into the same direction she did, noticing that special someone she was talking about was in fact only a few feet away from them.

“Wait, he’s here?” Harley mumbled. “I thought he was supposed to be finished by now?”

Peter shushed him, nodding at the girl in his arms, who was wriggling to get away. Peter had to let her go so she didn’t hurt herself. And then she darted off, right toward the big bunny hopping around in Pepper’s large vegetable patch.

“Shouldn’t we go after her?” Harley asked, and Peter shook his head.

“No.” He smirked. “Who do you think put the giant egg with the beast? That man wrestled The Hulk. I think he’s more than capable of dealing with our little monster.” Peter’s smirk grew, and there was a rumbling in his throat, as a laugh could no longer stay down, erupting like a volcano from his belly. Harley just laughed with him.

As soon as the man in the costume spotted Morgan, he tried to escape. He was trapped inside the patch, and if he went through the opening, then he’d run right into her arms. His only way out was over the wooden fence. But he would have to jump high and the costume was surprisingly heavy. He wasn’t an athlete or anything; just a well-fed man who had agreed to play his part in the annual Stark egg hunt—and make a total fool of himself.

“Hoppy!” Morgan yelled, as she came closer. She couldn’t believe how cute he looked with that fluffy coat and those long, floppy ears.

He didn’t jump over the fence. He tried, but it didn’t work, because he was in such a hurry that he tripped over a cabbage and fell. When he crashed into it, the wooden slats of the fence scattered around the yard like exploded matchsticks. It hurt, but not too much, because, thankfully, the costume broke his fall. He grunted as he struggled to get back on his feet, and almost succeeded. But then he was tackled by a low weight and pushed down to the ground again.

“I got you!” the little girl squealed, trying to throw her arms around the bunny who was simply too big for her to hug properly. She giggled like some rabid hyena, snuggling up against her new, fluffy companion.

“You alright, man?” Peter looked down at the two of them, laughing. There was a sound of a muffled cry for help.

Harley collected all the eggs he could find in the garden, then turned to the rest and said, “Maybe you should let him go, Morgan. He doesn’t have time for cuddles. He has work to do, remember?”

“But he’s so fluffy and cute!” She surrendered, looking defeated. “I want to cuddle him.”

“You can cuddle with us,” Harley suggested.

“You’re not fluffy.”

“But we’re cute,” Peter said.

The toddler harrumphed loudly, and pouted her lips until they looked as if they had been stung by a wasp.

“What happened to my fence?” Pepper’s voice sounded.

When Morgan saw her, she forgot all about her sulkiness and leaped to her feet. “The Easter bunny tried to flee,” she said, running to meet her mother.

“Oh, did you scare it?” Pepper lifted Morgan into her arms.

Morgan’s cheeks turned a little red. “Maybe,” she whispered and gave a faint smile. “I wanted to cuddle.”

Pepper smiled back at her, stroking her head. “You’re the sweetest, little cuddle bear, aren’t you, baby?” She tickled her daughter under her chin and showered her face with kisses, making her laugh. One look at the boys then, and they knew that she wanted them to help the poor guy.

“Thanks,” he said and adjusted his costume. “I better get out of here before she tackles me again.”

Laughing, the boys watched him leave, then turned back to Morgan.

“So how many eggs do you and Tony have?” Peter asked.

“We have the big one,” Morgan announced to her mother, beaming with pride.

“You do?”

Pepper was curious, as Tony had sworn to her that the golden egg was hidden in the dung heap. He had rummaged through the pile of animal waste for a solid ten minutes without finding anything. She could still smell his scent on her body as though he was standing right next to her. As someone who spent day and night on a farm, she was quite used to the strong smell of droppings, just not on her husband.

“And where did you find it, honey? Where was it?”

“With the Hu—“

“Hunting gear!” Peter blared out and destroyed the likelihood of having to tell Pepper about their encounter with the bull. “It was in one of the sheds where Tony keeps the hunting gear.”

“Please tell me he had that rifle locked up.”

“Yes, yes,” Harley said. “He did. The guns were all secured. We, um... We found it...” He stared at Peter with a pleading look.

“Uh...” Peter searched his brain for a quick explanation. God, they were such terrible liars. “You know that large white duffel bag Tony keeps to pack all his stuff? That’s where it was.”

“Yeah, just inside that old duffel bag,” Harley concurred, internally sighing in relief that they had averted the danger of finding themselves face to face with an angry mama tiger.

Morgan’s little brow furrowed as she looked at the older boys, her perceptive eyes shadowed with confusion. Pepper noticed the expression on her daughter’s face, and how nervous both Harley and Peter seemed to be—as if she hadn’t figured out they were lying already. They couldn’t even look her in the eyes. But Pepper knew if she just waited a while longer they were either going to crack, or Morgan would be too excited about telling everyone about the golden egg she would simply blurt out the truth.

“That’s such an odd hiding place for an egg that’s worth four points,” she said, feigning ignorance. But the boys could sense that she was on to them just by the way her eyes were piercing right through them.

Peter chuckled nervously. “Maybe the Easter bunny was in a hurry.”

“Or maybe he thought no one would even look there, because it was too easy,” Harley said.

Pepper smirked at their obvious fear of her maternal instincts, and turned to her daughter who she still cuddled close to her chest. Morgan stared at her mother with her brown eyes, smiling happily.

“Where is daddy?”

“We were with the horses when I left. You know, your father snatched up an egg right from underneath your uncle Rhodey. But he thinks he saw it first, and that it belongs to him. Your uncle thinks it’s his. So, I guess they’re still fighting about it right now. I’m just glad, this time, they’re fighting without their suits,” Pepper said, chuckling.

“Can I see him?”

“You want to tell him about the giant egg, hm?” She smiled and kissed her daughter’s cheek. “Of course we can go see him. And in the meantime, your brothers can repair that fence.”

“Why do _we_ have to do that?” Peter complained. “We didn’t—“

“You know why,” Pepper answered. Her expression was soft, but a darkness shot across her eyes that made Peter shiver. “Tools are in the house. Thanks.” She flashed them a quick, smug grin, then left them standing there with their mouths wide open.

“At least we’re still breathing’,” Peter said, sighing.

Harley laughed. “Yeah, we’re lucky she didn’t kill us.”

“Not yet.”

“She loves knowing that _we_ know she knows.”

“I guess this is how Tony feels when he fucked up and has to make it up to her,” Peter said.

“Imagine being in Pepper Potts’ bad books, and her just _loving_ to see you eat that humble pie.

“And I thought having to apologize to Iron Man is, like, the worst kind of humiliation. I was wrong.”

“How much does Pepper want us to eat of that pie until she lets us off the hook?”

“I think Tony’s still having some of it every morning, and he’s been a freakin’ saint lately.”

“We’re screwed!”

“Yup!”

* * *

“Ew, you stink!” Morgan wrinkled her nose, tilting her head away from her father as he outstretched his arms to take her from Pepper.

Tony laughed. “Certainly not the warm welcome I was hoping for.”

“You smell like poo.”

“Your daddy’s very dedicated to the egg hunt, honey.” Pepper grinned at him. He grinned back.

“And your mommy gives up way too easily,” he retorted, dropping a hard kiss on Pepper’s mouth.

“Hey,” she complained, shoving him gently. “At least I never gave up on you, Mr. _Skunk_.”

“That’s true,” Tony said with a chuckle, pecking her lips once more.

“I saw the Easter bunny,” Morgan let him know with as much excitement in her voice as the moment she had told her mother.

“And then she tackled it and now the fence of my veggie patch is destroyed and I ordered your minions to fix it.”

Tony, who was busy leaving a trail of soft kisses on his daughter’s hair, laughed out loud. “My minions?” He looked into Pepper’s amused face, smirking. “How did you get them to work for free? I always have to pay them to do anything around here.”

“The same way I get you to do something.”

“Oh my God, Potts!” Tony put his hands around the toddler’s head, covering her ears. “You did not offer them any sexual favors in return, did you? Because that would be cheating... on _me_.“

“You’re an idiot, Tony!” Pepper laughed, shaking her head at his silliness. Her fingers weaved into the sickness of his soft hair, as she smiled. “Now go take a shower.”

“Are you coming with me?” Tony purred, nestling his cheek into the palm of her hand. Pepper could barely withstand the mighty force of those big, brown puppy eyes.

“Mommy, we have to count all the eggs,” Morgan said.

“You hear that?” Pepper grinned. “Sounds like I have something more important to do. Our daughter wants to know if she won.”

“She wants to ruin what could be a pretty hot and steamy shower,” Tony grunted, pouting. He looked at his daughter and brushed his thumb across her soft cheek. “Her only excuse is that she’s so darn cute, and I can’t be mad at her.” He sighed.

“Love you, daddy,” Morgan said softly, “Even when you stink.”

“And I love _you_ , little monkey,” he answered, grinning. “Even when you ruin grown-up time with your mama for me.”

“And I love you both,” Pepper told them, “even though the two of you drive me crazy every goddamn minute of every day.”

“Language,” Morgan called her out, and giggled.

“Language,” Tony repeated, even louder, smirking at his wife, who was _this_ close to smacking him.

“You know, honey, sometimes I still wonder who’s really the baby in this family,” she quipped, snatching the basket with eggs from his hand—a move that made Morgan laugh. “Come on, sweetie. We have some eggs to count,” Pepper said, turning around, and walked away.

On his way to the house, Tony took a detour to the vegetable patch to check on Peter and Harley. It made him proud to see how fast they had managed to fix what was broken. They were almost done repairing the hole in the fence. They were good boys, both of them. Together, they were an amusing display of double trouble. He tried to be a great mentor to them. Sometimes, he failed, and he had spent an awful lot of time learning to accept that. It was okay. He knew he couldn’t do everything right, because he wasn’t perfect. But they loved him like he were, and that filled his heart with more love than he could ever imagine to have for children who weren’t his own.

“How are my favorite boys doing?”

“Almost done,” Harley answered.

“No, no.” Tony laughed. “I mean have you recovered from the shock of comin’ face to face with the beast?”

“You _know_?” Peter nearly chocked on his own spit.

The realization of Tony knowing the truth etched across the boys’ faces was synonymous with the shock in their eyes.

“This may be a different place, kid, but I still have my eyes and ears everywhere.”

“Damn it!” Harley let out. “FRIDAY narced on us.”

“FRIDAY never narcs on nobody.” Tony grinned. “She just informs me of any… abnormalities happening around here, and I was _informed_ that there was an intruder inside The Hulk’s playground.”

“Mr. Stark… Tony... I swear, Harley and I, we were just—Please don’t tell May.“

“Don’t sweat it, Pete. My girl’s alive and well. That’s all I need to know.” The boys blew out a breath they had been holding. “I should also inform you that there’s a safety system.”

“A–a safety system?”

“What kind of safety system?” Peter asked.

“Oh, you know... In case that bull gets too close to, let’s say, a person that has no business being there, because said person doesn’t know how to handle The Hulk,” he raised his eyebrow, giving the two a look, “FRIDAY releases his favorite toy and that attracts his attention right away. Problem solved. No one’s getting harmed.”

“Are you saying you could’ve stopped The Hulk from chasing after me?”

“Of course I could,” Tony said, chuckling. “This farm has a total of 5,787 acres, which my daughter loves to explore, and I can’t be everywhere all the time. Neither can Pepper. Do you seriously think I’d risk her precious life like that? I even have a safety system installed in the henhouse in case she gets assaulted by the chickens.”

“I can’t believe this,” Harley uttered.

“I believed you could save her, and I was right,” Tony told him, patting his back.

“You were teaching us a lesson,” Peter mumbled.

“And it worked.” Tony clapped his hands together proudly. “Because you’re here, trying to atone for your sins, with my wife breathing down your necks, and I just know you two will never do anything this stupid ever again.” The look on their faces made him laugh. “This is so funny! And you know what the best thing is? It’s not me. It’s you guys. She’s making you suffer, and I bet she _wishes_ she could punish me instead, because she just _loves_ to make me grovel. God, I love that woman!”

“Did you tell her?” Harley asked.

“And risk being deprived of sex for a month ‘cause I let you run with my daughter for half a mile instead of saving you? How stupid would that be?” He giggled. “No, this is all on you, my sweet, _sweet_ boys.”

“You’re a lousy father,” Peter noted.

Tony ruffled his hair, laughing as Peter tried to slap his hand away. “I guess I am, Spider-Boy.”

“And you smell really bad,” he grumbled. “Like, worse than Rocket... _after_ he showered.”

“Ouch, that hurt.” Tony hit him gently against the back of his head, still laughing, as he left. “Later, kids!”

“Should we tell Pepper that he knew?”

“And deprive him of sex with his wife for a month?” Peter looked at Harley, and his lips slowly twisted into a smirk. “Well, you know what they say, Harles... Karma’s a bitch.”

* * *

Tony was surprised to find Happy in the master bedroom, stretched out on the reading chair with the Easter bunny’s head in his lap.

“What happened to _you_?”

“Your daughter,” Happy grunted.

“I’m sorry, pal.” Tony couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled up from inside him. “Didn’t think she would get _this_ excited to see you. I thought she’d be more, um... subtle.”

“She’s your daughter. I don’t even think she knows what that means.” Leaping out of the chair, Happy started taking off the rest of the costume. “Next time, you can hire a professional, or an animal expert, because there are way too many dangerous creatures running around on this farm.”

“Are you talking about my baby girl?”

“Why do I feel like you’re enjoying this?”

“Because I do?” Tony grinned. “Listen, Hap... How about I pay you for what you did?”

“I’ll take your money, but I’m not gonna do it again,” Happy objected. “I did it twice without this stupid costume and that was fine. I mean I love hiding the eggs for everyone. But if you want me to show up like this for the hunt every year from now on, I’m telling you it is _not_ going to happen. I’m retiring.”

“Happy...”

“I love your girl, Tony. She’s my favorite kid in the world, but I cannot—“

”A grand.”

“What?”

“I’ll pay you a thousand bucks if you make this an annual thing,” Tony said. “And I give you even more if you get hurt. I’ll tell you which animals to look out for, because, you know, not all of them have a temper, and I promise to keep my daughter away from you. But you have to promise that you’ll show yourself to her just once… from a distance… every year.”

“If you’re willing to pay for it, why can’t anyone else do this?”

“Because I don’t _trust_ anyone else. Even if I hire someone who’s, like, a professional Easter bunny, I couldn’t trust that person enough to let them walk around my farm. I never had anyone from the–the… the outside world in here. No one I don’t really know, and I wanna keep it that way.”

“You scared of the paparazzi?”

“I couldn’t care less about the paps. They dress up as Easter bunny, snap pictures of my daughter and I sue the living shit out of them, but this... all of this... It’s my sacred place, Hap. Pepper’s and mine. It’s our home. I can’t invite people into our home that aren’t friends or family unless I keep an eye on them. And I can’t do that when I’m out there, hunting for eggs.” Tony took a deep breath, not to let himself get all worked up about it. “I do have FRIDAY, yes, but she’s not... This is a human thing, y'know? I need a person. I need _you_.”

Happy almost teared up, hearing about how much this life Tony was living now meant to him. He realized, he had never really been aware of it. “You really want me to do this, like a job?”

“Please, bud,” Tony begged softly.

“Okay then,” Happy said. “Make it two and we have a deal.”

“You want two grand?” Tony’s brow furrowed in surprise.

“Make it two and you get the full Easter bunny experience next year, including an all-exclusive Morgan Stark cuddle option.”

“Seriously?” Now Tony’s whole face lit up, his lips forming a smile.

“And I want a costume that’s more comfortable than this one. I can barely move in that thing.”

“I have never made anything that fluffy, but—“

“Well, you better figure something out. Build it, buy it, I don’t care. But this suit sucks.”

“You got it, big boy.”

“I want it on paper.”

“Sure,” Tony answered. “I will have my lawyer draw up a contract.”

“No, not _that_ official.” Happy shook his head. “Unlike you, I still have a reputation to lose, and I don’t want anyone to know about this.”

Tony chuckled. “Anything else?”

“Starting right now.”

“You want me to give you two grand _today_?” Happy nodded. “But that’s not how this business works.”

“The way I see it, you don’t _have_ a business without me.”

“Man, you really learned from the best, huh?” Tony laughed as he walked over to the nightstand to grab his checkbook. He signed a check, then handed it to Happy. “Can I go shower now?”

“Yeah, you smell like a pig!”

“Well, thank you, Haps. I love you too, pal.”

As Tony disappeared into the bathroom, Happy called after him. “Hey, who won?”

Tony peaked his head through the doorway. “My daughter’s got the golden egg. I think it’s safe to say the kids did.”

“Morgan and the boys, they...“

“The boys actually were too scared to face The Hulk, so my daughter grabbed _her_ balls and showed them what real courage looks like.”

“She’s fearless!”

“She’s a Stark,” Tony said, full with pride. “And she’s also a Potts. Should we really be surprised?”

“Pepper thinks she’s more like you.”

“I know,” Tony said, chuckling. “But that’s only because Pepper doesn’t see herself through my eyes.“

“So, what is it she’s not seeing?” Happy was smiling, curiously.

“Pep thinks whatever crazy thing Morgan does... her fearlessness and braveness... even the most stupid things she does, that she shares that with me. But I can’t take credit for that, because it’s just not true. It’s her. It’s all _her_.” Tony smiled, and blinked back a tear. “Because nothing I ever did is as brave, and crazy, and _stupid_ ,” now he grinned, “as Pepper Potts, falling so hard in love with me that we ended up _here_.” He paused, taking a minute to reminisce about the beginning of their relationship. Then he chuckled. “So, it’s actually quite funny that she looks at our daughter and thinks, _I’m_ the crazy person.”


End file.
